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John Fitzgerald Page, Ivy League Wannabe

Posted in Humor by Cornell Blog Admin on October 11th, 2007.

Even though Ivygate, Gawker, and Dealbreaker have written about John Fitzgerald Page with such titles as “Nightmare Online Dater” and “Ivy League Douchebag”, it’s worth pointing out his hilarious and egotistical homepage:

john-page.jpg
His flinty-eyed stare rivets you, and your heart begins to pound…

The guys in the comments at Ivygate suggest that Mr. Page can’t be found in either the Wharton alum directory or the Penn directory. However, this accomplished:

  • Actor
  • Online Cassanova
  • Model
  • Fitness Coach
  • Mensa Member
  • “In the fame game”

doesn’t need a real education; he goes home to swim in cash and surround himself with beautiful women. Or wait, do I mean beer and Papa John’s? If anything, this is a hilariously bad example of what not to put online about yourself.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 11th, 2007 at 9:10 pm and is tagged with . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback.

6 Responses to “John Fitzgerald Page, Ivy League Wannabe”

  1. Cant Believe says:

    have met this douche John Page before and know people that know him well. I decided to re-post his response to the poor girl John, so shamefully attacked with unkind words. I have compiled the data from many people and we will SEE who is not telling the truth. JFP says he wrote the letter casue he is tired of “fat chick” lying about what they look like…Did you lie JFP? Lets see… I will put ( ) around my comments

    I live in a 31 story high rise condominium, right in the middle of the Buckhead nightlife district.( YEAH THAT YOU RENT – YOU HAVE NEVER OWNED YOUR OWN HOUSE. Do you ever come to this area of town to shop/go out/visit/explore? ( DID YOU REALLY JUST USE THE BACKSLASH?)

    I went to an Ivy League school – the University of Pennsylvania – for my undergraduate degree in economics and my graduate degree in management (Wharton School of Business).( YEAH…YEAH…YEAH…MR. BRAGGY. Where did you go to school? ( OH I AM SURE NOT IVY LEAGUE – SHE FEELS REALLY COOL TELLIN YOU NOW SHOW OFF)

    What activities do you currently participate in to stay in shape?(WHAT KIND OF A WAY TO WORD A QUESTION IS THAT – MAN THIS KID IS A TOOL) I work out 4 times a week at LA Fitness( TRUE YOU DO HAVE A MEMBERSHIP THERE, AND HAVE BEEN ASKED TO LEAVE WOMEN ALONE, BUT YOU DO NOT GO THERE 4 TIMES A WEEK – UNLESS YOU ARE IN THE PARKING LOT WITH BINOS BEING CREEPY) Do you exercise regularly? I am 6 feet tall(NO YOU ARE NOT – YOU MIGHT BE 5′9 FROM WHAT I HEAR), 185 pounds – what about yourself? I am truly sorry if that sounds rude, impolite or even downright crass, but I have been deceived before by inaccurate representations so I prefer someone be upfront and honest on initial contact…(ACTUALLY JOHN IT DOESNT SOUND LIKE ANY OF THOSE THINGS YOU ARE SAYING…IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE A SCARY TOOL WIERDO THAT IS ALWAYS TRYING TO GET YOUR DATES DRUNK SO YOU CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM)

    I do mergers & acquisitions (corporate finance) for Limited Brands (Bath & Body Works, Victoria’s Secret, etc).(NO YOU DONT – YOU DONT DO ANYTHING. i HEAR YOU HAVE SOME MONEY FROM YOUR PARENTS RECENTLY PASSING AWAY OR SOMETHING. BUT EVERYONE KNOWS YOU DO NOTHING FOR A LIVING AND ARE POOR AS CAN BE. Enjoy any of our stores/divisions?(OUR STORES/DIVISIONS…LIKE YOU WORK THERE. i AM SO HOPING THESE COMPANIES CAN SHOW YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. i WOULD LIKE TO SEE A PAYSTUBB – A RECENT ONE.

    Do you have any other recent pictures you care to share?( BECAUSE I NEED THE PICS TO PUT IN MY MATCH.COM BOOK I HAVE. IT IS A BOOK THAT CHROINICLES ALL THE WOMEN I HAVE SLEPT WITH A LIVING AND RUNNING RECORD. I HAVE COMMENTS BY EACH PHOTO SO I NEED YOUR TO ADD TO THE COLLECTION. CREEPY HUH? I have many others if you care to see them.

    Regards,

    John

  2. [...] Originally Posted by Eli Broad I love his constant refernces to attending Penn. It’s like Andy on The Office mentioning Cornell every time he talks about himself. John Fitzgerald Page, Ivy League Wannabe by Cornell Blog This ****** is a human train wreck. I can’t stop doing Google searches for “John Fitzgerald Page” — there several more hilarious blogs out there [...]

  3. Annie says:

    Yes, I met this douche bag a few years ago. He “wined and dined me on 2 for 1 coupons and limited me to either 1 glass of wine or a desert we could split. He came over to my house one afternoon and refused to leave unless I gave him the gas money to go back to his sublet apt in Buckhead. I finally forced him out and discovered he stole from me – God honest truth. There is so much dirt on this scum ball that I warn all to stay away! He will never make it past unaccredited walk on roles because his reputation is even too awful for Hollywood! Imagine that! I knew after I saw a card on this desk from the “free clinic” that I should run and I did – too bad I never pressed charges for what he stole from me

  4. atlanta says:

    well, if you really want to know this guy or just get an update. John answered an ad i put up recently when i was looking for an actor for a commercial.
    i answered back annoyed that he didn’t send a head shot. Granted he sent a website but when you have a **** load of responses, a simple standard order head shot simplifies things. he wrote back…no ivy league this time, now it’s 40imdb’s every 3rd line. imdb’s are credited rolls in a movie. all of the are as extras but he acts like he is a major player in entertainment.
    by the way, i’m a guy and not *** but all he keeps writing about his looks and that i’m ugly and that i look like a gorilla, which i remind you he was responding to an acting roll.
    i know an actress that has to live in his building and she “tolerates” him.
    i want this guy to succeed. just so that everyone can see what he is, a real american douche-bag.

  5. Marli says:

    He attacked me repeatedly when I applied for one of his jobs that he didn’t see me as “fit” for. I had no idea who he was at the time or would have NEVER sent it in.

    I submitted (as a 22 year old actress) for a 25 year old position (because I can reasonably play 25 years old).

    He said to me:
    They want someone 30. Agents HATE submissions that don’t fit what we ask for. The children in the ad are 5-13, you would look pretty dumb with a 13 year old on you lap, would you not?

    I have boys applying for girls roles, 46 year olds applying, etc. Just to help you, in the future, only apply if you fit what is asked for.

    Look at this way – do you want 40 year olds applying for your roles?

    Then I called him a jackass and told him I didn’t really need his opinon. I had the right to submit.

    So he said:
    APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY! I was nice ENOUGH to point out that YOU FUCKED UP, and even showed you WHY! I put the AGES of the KIDS in the ad! Do you know any 22 year olds with 13 year old kids? You are hearing SUBMIT FOR ANYTHING from TALENT – not from an AGENT!

    I am trying to HELP YOU! I have 100+ gorgeous talent, including MS. GA. You are lucky to get 10 seconds of my time.

    If you don’t apologize IMMEDIATELY, I will forward your email to EVERY legit agency in town. Do not EVER talk that way to any agent – we call all burn you in ten seconds. It’s called NTBSA – look it up!

    Talent like you makes me want to scream!

    I said I was sorry for cursing, but that he was not all knowing.

    am all knowing – I know all the legits agents in this town and can torch you with all of them.

    I was trying to help you. You can never win – I am the agent, you are the talent. ONE of me, 100 of you.

    I decide who gets submitted and who gets tossed in the trash.

    I tried to help you and this is the thanks I get.

    You only get ONE shot with an agent, and you blew yours big time.

    Some day, you will figure this out. A CD can call me and get 100 people or call you and get one – who will they ALWAYS call first?

    I said I googled him, and he couldn’t burn me any more than he could save himself.

    I am glad you read BLOGS and TABLOIDS and GOSSIP! Do you see any actual NEWS with my name on it? I can write you are a fat idiot and put it on my websites – does that make it true?

    Read my acting website and my agency site – I am the creme de la creme of the acting/modeling community in this one horse town.

    Why is it always the fat ones that give me the most trouble? I blew off a fat chick on Match 3.5 years ago and the internet came out of the woodwork. People like you, who have NOTHING on me, giving me a hard time. Girls hate me, because I have standards. Guys hate me because they can’t carry my jock.

    I didn’t Google you, because you don’t mean **** to me.

    You fucked up and applied for a job you don’t fit. Why don’t you GOOGLE “I fucked up and applied for a job I don’t fit”?

    I have never scammed, lied or cheated anyone, anywhere. Find ONE police report, lawsuit, or legit complaint against my business or me and I’ll give you a million bucks. Just haters like you, who suck, have no life, are overweight, and have nothing better to do, typing away in their mom’s basement. Find ONE human being that says I owe them money or has paid me money to rep them and bring them to my office. ONE. I will hand you a check for a MILLION bucks. Look at my site – I rep 100 amazing looking people, who look nothing like you. Do you think they are all stupid – they have been in Jezebel, Maxim, Playboy, etc. They know who the man is.

    I have the balls to tell people to their face when they **** up and they can’t stand it.

    Do you have an $800 job for 4 hours that I can apply for? Then who is in charge here?

    Why don’t you ask one of my 100+ talent if I am legit or not – do you know any of them?

    All the agents in this town talk all the time, if you don’t think I can burn you, you are crazy. I am already burnt on the internet, I have the freedom to take anyone I choose with me at any time.

    I didn’t respond so that pissed him off, and he threatened me:

    I would remove your CL blog post ASAP and get to working on your own problems – like being 45 lbs overweight.

    Regards,

    J

    He’s a grade a douche

  6. Grace says:

    I am so thankful for this post and others like it, considering I have had the misfortune of talking to John online over the last couple days. I found his profile on a dating site and thought he seemed like a nice guy (now I know that was a load of ****) so I emailed him. After a few messages I started to get the feeling that he was a douche, so I Googled him. Thank God I did! Who knows what would have happened had I actually met this guy in person. I’m not entirely sure I wouldn’t be dead in the trunk of his car.

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