Raise A Hand If I’m Gay
Apparently the Cornell University students still at Cornell collectively have decided that I am gay:
(9:04:30 PM) Friend: btw, everyone seems to know that you are my gay friend now.
(9:04:31 PM) Friend: hehe
(9:04:46 PM) Friend: remember the guy we saw at time square the other day?
(9:04:47 PM) Elliott Brook: wait I am your gay friend?
(9:04:59 PM) Elliott Brook: o_O
(9:05:08 PM) Friend: He was like who were you with that day.
(9:05:18 PM) Friend: I told him that I was with an old friend.
(9:05:26 PM) Friend: and he was like oh, your gay friend elliott
(9:05:36 PM) Elliott Brook: This is an interesting development.
(9:06:12 PM) Elliott Brook: On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is “so gay I’ve got two boys in my bed” and 1 is “why did those men hug each other -.- ” I’m only a 3
It’s nothing bad to be gay–after all, Perez Hilton is doing a great job as a gay blogger–but since I’m not gay I am baffled as to how this came about. Perhaps I need to stop posting extremely artsy facebook photos…
The Ancient Emnity
We could rewrite this OINY post to show Cornell University and Ithaca College rivalry:
Cornell student: Do you go to Ithaca College?
Ithaca College student: Yes, how did you know?
Cornell student: I could tell by your dirty shoes. Ithaca College gets their students from the homeless shelter.
Ithaca College student: Excuse me?
Cornell student: I’m your biggest enemy.
Ithaca College student: What?
Cornell student: I go to Cornell.
Ithaca College student: Can you leave me alone?
It wouldn’t be very nice, but it would probably be spot-on sentiment wise. Cornellians tend, I’ve noticed, to be quite elitist about any non-1st-tier schools they meet. Or anything ending in “-college” or “arvard.”
Diploma Received!
I received my diploma in the mail from Cornell University, conferring on me the degree of B.A. in the Arts & Sciences:
Fantastic! I’m elated! It’s “signed” by the President and the Dean, and has a nice Cornell University seal on it.
