Cornell Blog » Humor

What Really Goes On At Parties?

Posted in Humor by Cornell's Most Infamous on May 20th, 2007.

NSFW, “An investigative report from the television show NEWSLINE exposing the dark truth of bro rape.”

Bro Rape: A Newsline Investigative Report –

“It’s a type of rape that’s gone overlooked for decades, and it’s risen 44% in the last year. I’m talking of course, about Bro rape. What is a Bro? A Bro is an 18 to 24 year old male who wears Birkenstock sandals, plays ultimate Frisbee…”

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Charlie Barrow: Facebook & Goldman Sachs

Posted in Career, Facebook, Humor by Cornell's Most Infamous on March 12th, 2007.

The IT department at Goldman Sachs sent the following email to Charlie Barrow after they discovered that the trader was spending four hours a day on Facebook, which we believe seriously qualifies him for an internet addiction and psychological counseling:

It has come to our attention that you have been spending a considerable amount of time on a website known as ‘The Facebook.’ This is unacceptable since firm regulations do not permit usage of social networking sites. Moreover, your combined total usage time over the past six months has now exceeded 500 hours (the equivalent of over four hours daily), which we feel would normally be sufficiently high to render us duty-bound to inform your manager. As a gesture of goodwill, we will not forward this email on this time, but would ask that you stop utilizing this site, and in addition would advise you that this is your final warning and subsequent offenses will be treated with more severity and through the appropriate official channels.

Step number two in his adult game plan was to brazenly post the email on his facebook account:

It’s a measure of how warped I’ve become that, not only am I surprisingly proud of this, but in addition, the first thing I did was to post it here, and that losing my job worries me far less than losing facebook ever could.