She suggested that Monroe’s Office of Career Advancement shows preferential treatment to students with excellent grades. “They favor more toward students that got a 4.0. They help them more out with the job placement,” she said. iReport.com: “Don’t sue your alma mater”

Asked whether she would advise other college graduates facing job woes to sue their alma maters, Thompson said yes. “It doesn’t make any sense: They went to school for four years, and then they come out working at McDonald’s and Payless. That’s not what they planned.”

It probably doesn’t help that she got poor marks in an undergraduate degree in Business Administration, a degree like an MBA but without the years of work experience that usually precede it. Reviews for the college, which we’ve never heard of, are appalling:

• “As long as you can walk into the building and could sign a loan, receive financial aid, or pay up front they will accept you.”
• “… all they talk about in the hallways, bathroom, and even class is they BABY DADDY DRAMA.”
• “Monroe College is a mediocre school. Very similar to community college.”

The institution is a private, for-profit, college with 4,361 full-time students, 71% female, charging on average $9,000 / yr tuition. The school has a statistically skewed diversity profile, with 52% Hispanic, 42% African-American, 1% Asian, and 1% Caucasian. The graduation rate is 54%, and the acceptance rate a startling 61%. There’s no listing of the average SAT score of incoming freshmen (a bad sign), and a warning that “Monroe understands that for many students the SAT may not be a good indication of a student’s academic aptitude” is another red flag. We can interpolate from their minimum requirements for a presidential scholarship of an 1800 on the SAT (about the 80th percentile) that few of their students are objective academic achievers.

In a recession where qualified, experienced workers are being laid off, it takes a massive ego and sense of millennial over-entitlement to give up your job hunt after just three months and blame the college for your poor GPA and lack of marketable skills.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Deep Springs College [comcom@deepsprings.edu]
Date: Oct 26, 2007 3:24 PM
Subject: An Apology from Deep Springs College

Dear ******,

We write from Deep Springs College to apologize for the fact that you were sent our recruitment brochure by mistake this fall.

Deep Springs has an all-male student body. You received the brochure because you had an exceptionally high SAT score, and fell within most of our recruiting criteria. However, when purchasing one of our SAT mailing lists, we neglected to check the “MALE” box and our brochure was automatically sent to the addresses of some women.

Needless to say, we are very embarrassed by this error. The only explanation we can offer is that mistakes do happen. But most of all, we want you to know that this actually was a mistake, not some malicious prank.

Please accept our apologies for the fact that we cannot consider applications from women at this time. We apologize as well if we have inconvenienced you during this busy application season.

Good luck with your endeavors, wherever they may lead you.

Sincerely,
Silas Hundt, Student
Communications Committee
Deep Springs College

David Neidorf, Dean
Deep Springs College

Note that a similar but worse thing happened when Cornell accepted all its applicants via email, “Congratulations on your acceptance into the class of 2007!” Unfortunately, the acceptance rate that year was not 100%, and they had to send a disappointing followup.

His flinty-eyed stare rivets you, and your heart begins to pound…

The guys in the comments at Ivygate suggest that Mr. Page can’t be found in either the Wharton alum directory or the Penn directory. However, this accomplished:

• Actor
• Online Cassanova
• Model
• Fitness Coach
• Mensa Member
• “In the fame game”

doesn’t need a real education; he goes home to swim in cash and surround himself with beautiful women. Or wait, do I mean beer and Papa John’s? If anything, this is a hilariously bad example of what not to put online about yourself.

“It’s a type of rape that’s gone overlooked for decades, and it’s risen 44% in the last year. I’m talking of course, about Bro rape. What is a Bro? A Bro is an 18 to 24 year old male who wears Birkenstock sandals, plays ultimate Frisbee…”

It has come to our attention that you have been spending a considerable amount of time on a website known as ‘The Facebook.’ This is unacceptable since firm regulations do not permit usage of social networking sites. Moreover, your combined total usage time over the past six months has now exceeded 500 hours (the equivalent of over four hours daily), which we feel would normally be sufficiently high to render us duty-bound to inform your manager. As a gesture of goodwill, we will not forward this email on this time, but would ask that you stop utilizing this site, and in addition would advise you that this is your final warning and subsequent offenses will be treated with more severity and through the appropriate official channels.

Step number two in his adult game plan was to brazenly post the email on his facebook account:

It’s a measure of how warped I’ve become that, not only am I surprisingly proud of this, but in addition, the first thing I did was to post it here, and that losing my job worries me far less than losing facebook ever could.

Here are a few other blogs covering the news:

• Losing facebook worse than losing job
• Freaking stupid
• Goldman trader addicted to facebook
• Goldman employee to earn bonus
• About to be fired
• A little career advice from TechCrunch

You would think that an Oxford grad would know better than this, but kids these days…

Actually, any kind of person can appreciate this shirt!

I’m looking for a man to photophosphorylate me all night long. – w4m

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum, tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I’ve hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound…tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it’s turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways, just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?

Let me know if this makes you secrete.

If you actually know what those basic terms from cellular biology mean, it’s total nonsense. However, the innuendo is clearly priceless, and the potential for pickup lines is ENORMOUS. For example, let’s try:

• Hi, I’m K–your concentration gradient’s looking a little dry!
• Sunshine, I can’t breathe without you. Did I mention I’m a plant?

Clearly the author of this Craiglist post is more attuned to her sexual biology than I am. Leave more in the comments!

Hi everyone. A hot water pipe in the building broke last night, which affected hot water this morning. Facilities was able to make a temporary fix, but will need to make a permanent repair to the pipe tomorrow (Tuesday). This unfortunately means that there will be no hot water available between 8 am and approximately 4:30 pm. Please plan accordingly.

It’s hard to imagine how a hot water pipe could break in the Spring, but things happen. So far, this is just an unfortunate tragedy. Then, 20 hours later, we get another email:

Hi everyone. One of the pieces that Facilities needs to fix the pipe didn’t come in this morning, and so the hot water will be shut down tomorrow (Wednesday) rather than today, at approximately the same times (8am to 4:30 pm-ish). THis was a better alternative than having the water shut down over night. Please plan accordingly (again). Thank you for your understanding.

The replacement part didn’t come, eh? That would just suck, but then we get another email:

Hi everyone. The Trades people who are working on the pipes have not been able to complete work to fix the hot water pipe. We are hoping that this will be completed tomorrow. Unfortunately though it means that hot water should be turned off tomorrow (Thursday) from 8 am to about 4 pm. Please plan accordingly. Thank you for your patience with this matter.

I guess the final score is Hot Water Pipe: 1, Cornell University: 0.

[21:05] <kiwiii> someone just searched the hub for "god"
[21:06] <kiwiii> they’re looking for him
[21:06] <kiwiii> where is he?
[21:06] <ATM> is he here?
[21:06] <God> I’m always here

Christians believe that you can find God in everything.  Can you find God in peer-to-peer?

Right now, I’m well and alive, but that could all change. Currently, out of about 150 players, 20 are zombies. You can follow a graph of their kills, too, if you’re interested:

The resources of interest in this game are as follows:

• The Main Zombies v.s. Humans Page
• The Humans’ Wiki

Update

Apparently some of the CU administration have decided that we need to register as an official ZvH organization to play at Cornell. This doesn’t seem reasonable, as we don’t want any official funding or sponsorship. As individuals, we should be able to conduct whatever form of group association we please. Why not call it the religion of ZvH instead? Then we’d be allowed. Or we could claim new races and persecution thereof…