Ash Thotambilu Alleged Dead
According to comments left on his facebook wall, Ash Thotambilu, a recently graduating Cornell Senior, is dead. Mike Shafer wrote on June 1st, “You were my best friend, Ash. I’ll always love you for being you. I’ll catch you on the flip side, brother. Make heaven REAL for us. Rest in peace, old friend.” His real name was Ashumantha Jayakumar Thotambilu; according to Cornell search, he was a student in Human Ecology.
Although Ash appeared to have high ambition, describing himself on facebook with, “gonna be a millionaire before i turn 30,” the comments on his Facebook wall appear to indicate that he died between May 31st to June 1st. He was spending his summer break in Ithaca, after graduation. As I didn’t know him, cannot confirm the circumstances of his death or even that Ash actually died, the best I can do is archive his facebook profile:
Apparently, Ash also had a blogspot and a xanga blog, but neither have been recently updated. His aim address, brepubpimp23, turns up nothing. From online materials, I can find no motivation for suicide, and no mention of Ash’s death. The only possibility in my mind for suicide would be if Ash received some traumatic news, such as some kind of suspension of his diploma. Draw what conclusions you will.
Update
Former CU Daily Sun EIC writes in, “A cursory look through the remnants of his several blogs reveals a few constant themes.”
Update 2
According to CUInfo, Ash Thotambilu was a student in the college of Human Ecology, supposed to graduate this year. However, since I graduated as well, I received a document for the One Hundred Thirty Eighth Commencement listing all the graduates this year. Guess what–Ash was not among them:
If Ash didn’t graduate, the theory that he committed suicide because of academic pressure from his parents (at least one of which is a doctor in Syracuse) becomes more plausible. Without a Cornell degree, there’s no way he could have gone to medical school and fulfilled their family’s desires.
Update 3:
Ash Thotambilu’s xanga profile gives us a little more information about his family situation. He writes (emphasis mine):
I’m currently a student at the school of Human Ecology at Cornell. My major is Human Biology Health and Society. I want to go med school and become a heart surgeon. Here’s a little bit about me: I was born in Scotland and lived there for two years. I then moved to a town in England called Blackpool and lived there until I was 8 years old. My family and I moved to America on the 4th of July (wierd, right?) and I’ve been living in Syracuse ever since. I have a sister who’s a year younger than me and is in college for business. My dad is a cardiologist and my mom runs his office. My parents are from India, so it’s sometimes hard living in America while being raised in a more traditional household.. But overall, they’re pretty cool parents.
Another interesting piece in the puzzle is Ash’s MySpace, which only recently turned up on Google. It was last updated May 30th, 2006, the night or the night before he allegedly committed suicide. In his profile, he writes (emphasis mine):
I’m an extremely introspective person and sometimes too analytical for my own good. Everything happens for a reason, so I have an obsesion to think about the ‘why.’ For this reason, my moods tend to fluctuate. Sometimes things may seem to be going well, and other times, my analyses will conclude me to believe things are going badly. However, I’m introvert with my emotions. Noone knows the real me. Noone knows what and how I feel deep down inside. This may seem bad to not want to open up to people, but I fear that they’ll judge me. So, I tell people enough so that they empathize, but I keep enough to myself so that they don’t sympathize.
The puzzle only thickens. If anyone would like to leave an anonymous tip as to why Ash killed himself, send me an email.
| This entry was posted on Monday, June 26th, 2006 at 1:18 pm and is tagged with cornell search, mike shafer, cornell degree, ash thotambilu, cuinfo, facebook, human ecology, academic pressure, jayakumar, rest in peace, daily sun, eic, flip side, summer break, remnants, old friend, ithaca, ambition, medical school, commencement. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can http://cornell.elliottback.com/ash-thotambilu-alleged-dead/trackback/. |
15 Responses to “Ash Thotambilu Alleged Dead”
hey man,
i knew ash. the cause of death is very hush hush, but what i do know was that he was in a car accident and that was the cause of death. there was another passenger who walked out of the accident alive. his family is very private and that is why the info was not realized.
peace.
There was no accident, what happened happened, its a wake up call for parents who pressure their children to the limit. Its the realization that some kids actually shoot for success to fulfill their parents dreams and set their own dreams aside.
I didn’t know him but I agree with none of your business…the most authentic sounding rumor is that it’s becuase of his parents. I can totally relate to that having come from another nation with my parents hope that I became wealthy and my own boss by being a good student and getting a college scolarship. It’s a terrible situation to be in.
Well, “anon” said that the cause of death was a car “accident,” but that doesn’t necessarily rule out suicide. While I can respect the privacy wishes of the family, I am a little surprised that once the news of Ash’s death was confirmed(whether or not it was suicide), there was so little response.. In the past, news like this, most recently in the case of Ian Alberta (who was killed in a fire, RIP), has sparked much more of a campuswide response, services offered by Cornell, and more elegaic news reports. I wonder if its because Ash was no longer at Cornell..
I didn’t know Ash well, but I know he was a friendly, apparently happy guy who seemed to get along with everyone. Its so sad that he didn’t let anyone know how he was really feeling. One chilling thing that was on Ash’s facebook profile the day of his death, under “status,” was “Ash is happy he doesn’t have to deal with bs nemore
”. I don’t know about you, but that erased a lot of hopeful “what if”s for me. RIP Ash.
everyone thinks it was because of his grades…
it was actually b/c he was ***.
what proof do you have he was ***? he was always talking about girls.
i used to party with “ash” all the time a couple of years ago back when I was at cornell ( i graduated in 2004 from human ecology, and i believe he was a freshman in 2002)…anyways i just came across your blog and hence found out just now about all this…ash was a great guy…he made great strides losing over 100 pounds in a very quick period…like someone else posted, he always was hitting on the ladies, and i saw him at tons of parties…this may have happened because he did not graduate due to grades, and he used to drink a lot, so it makes sense…it’s pretty sad though ‘cuz he invited me to his facebook group a few months ago “THE REAL” and i deleted it…anyways Ash thanks for the goodtimes and enthusiasm you brought to the desi community at cornell…
I know this is months later than most other posts, but I too have been constantly wondering about the death/disappearance of Ash Thotambilu. I was a friend of his sister Nia for quite some time, I emphasize that I was her friend because we had a huge falling out. We are no longer friends because of her constantly lying and refusal to admit the truth about Ash. Nia has told me that Ash has tried to commit suicide in the past, but had been unsuccessful in his attempts. I know for certain that in one instance that Ash overdosed on pills that he had access to due to the fact that his father is a cardiologist. Even then, when he was unsuccessful the family refused to get Ash treatment or medical interventions. (Ash’s reactions to the medicine made him vomit and have violent diarrhea all over the house) Ash did not get his stomach pumped, and the family kept it very hush-hush. Then I know with 100% certainty that he also tried to commit suicide through turning his car on and sitting in the garage (he was attempting to give himself carbon monoxide poisoning) I am unsure of the outcome of this attempt, but know that this was not what killed him. I am pretty sure because he has such an elite car that it had a prevention model in place so that this would not happen. I know both times only because I had a friendship with his sister. I will not further disclose the inner workings of the family; but I do know that his father Jaykumar, who Nia (Ash’s sister) had on many occasions threatened physical and emotional abuse on them both. The parents set very high standards for them both, and I know that both of them could never live up to them. What let to the ultimate demise of friendship between Nia and I was the fact that she refused to admit that Ash committed suicide. She had always hinted at it, but never came out with any information. I am urgently seeking any further information, as it will help me in confirming my own opinions. If this can help anyone, I am glad that I posted.
For some reason I can’t get Ash out of my mind… he was a great friend and I miss him dearly, even to this day. I am sad Facebook and MySpace took down his accounts because they were living memorials to him. The cause of his death is suicide by, we think, carbon dioxide poisoning. I was a great friend of his for years and never knew of previous suicide attempts, but I did know that he was very unhappy with himself. I would imagine his parents are to blame the most since they set such incredibly high standards for him and regularly clashed with his real interests. Truth be known, he didn’t love the idea of becoming a cardiologist and was instead a rather sharp businessman. I am surprised his parents refuse to comment on his death, although we know it was suicide since that is what the Syracuse police department told us. But, they are first generation Indians in the United States and are probably more inclined to keep these things private.
And by carbon dioxide, I meant carbon monoxide… my bad.
I’m using the name of Jordan as a code name, as I do not want the family to find this and attempt to contact me. As I was a close “friend” of Thotambilu family. I found this site, after searching for pictures of my lover. Yes, lover. I was Ash’s boyfriend, we had a very intimate relationship, and I am still devestated. Even more so, we were making plans for the future, about him dropping out of school, leaving his family to go back to England, adopting children, and just getting away. We had our whole futures set out for us, we were in love. We hid everything from the family. We were friends for the longest time, we met in highschool. Over time our love grew more and more and we just couldn’t stop ourselves. Ash’s father always wanted him to have an arranged marriage and that was something he couldn’t handle. He always said he’s rather kill himself than not have anything at all. Ash was an extremist, it was either all or nothing for him. Towards what you could call as the end, he was extremly moody and depressed it was very hard for me to see him like this. He was finally coming to terms with the fact that he was different. He hated feeling like a minority. He always felt insignificant. It was so hard for me to love him. His insecurities became too much for me to handle, on the night before his death we got into a huge fight. It was awful, he threatened to break off the relationship because I wanted to come out to his family and have them recognize our relationship…I treasured the time we had together and I wish I had more time with him . Please keep his memory alive, I will love him always and forever.
Hello “Jordan”. I’d like to talk with you about your post yesterday offline. Please e-mail me at mipollo at yahoo dot com.
Well it’s been over a week now and this “Jordan” guy has not written, so I think it’s safe to say he’s full of ****. Too bad the **** posts are allowed to stay here, and it’s also too bad that some guy would go out of his way so long after a man’s death to defame him. Whoever you are Jordan, I hope you’re happy with yourself and that writing that post increases your self esteem.
First off, I knew ASH well enough to know that this idiot Jordan character is a pathetic loser who is unfortunateley, for unknown reasons, making up stuff. I pray that you’ll someday find the courage to apologize and make ammends.
having said that, here’s my 2 cents:
In a couple of days, it’ll be the one year anniversary since I heard the tragic news that I had begun to dread looking at Ash’s facebook profile. From freshman to junior year, there was probably not a single day that I didn’t hang out with him. I don’t think i’ve had any friend in college who confided in me more than he did over my four years at cornell. It is for this reason, that the fact that he was gone from this world so abruptly last year caused an extreme amount of emotional pain. I had long ago recognized the insecurities and troubles he was facing in his life and yet I did nothing. We sort of drifted apart senior year and I’ve spent the past year just trying to supress the guilt that continues to overtake me from time to time. I had several lengthy phone calls with his parents and tried my best to somehow deal with this tragic news while at the same time provide them the consolement that I was in need of. His relationship with his parents had its good times and its bad and his college life fluctuated from intense partying to intense studying. He was a great guy, outgoing, friendly..sort of the person anyone could get along with. I just wish he had talked to me or any of his many friends before he took this step. nevertheless, i know he’s holding it down whereever he is and keeping things REAL. ASH man, i’ll keep you in my prayers and pray that your parents will somehow find some comfort in knowing that you are in a better place. amen to that.
I was just thinking about Ash again… tonight is the eve of his suicide. I wish I had something profound to say, but I don’t. I miss him. I knew he had internal issues and I wish I would have tried harder to help him. I hope he’s happy where he is now.